Another Way for Men

There needs to be another way. Another way for men to connect, to get to know themselves, to learn the necessary skills to face life’s challenges and rise to the occasion. A way for men to protect love, to nourish, to care for one another, to provide and to serve.

There’s got to be another way.

And part of the reason we haven’t found it yet is my fault. I stayed silent. I sat on the sidelines for years, observing, judging, complaining without taking meaningful action. I claimed that the work was beneath me, when in truth I lacked the courage to step forward, to speak, and to embody the kind of man I wanted to see in the world.

So I made excuses. I hid. I played small. I lied to myself and to others. None of that made the world a better place. It only left me unfulfilled and disconnected from my purpose.

Becoming Who You Really Are

This work is about becoming who you really are.
Not who you think you are.
Not who you’ve been told you are.
But who you truly are a child of God, an instrument of life itself.

You don’t need to subscribe to any single religion or tradition to walk this path. Every spiritual system points toward the same essence: truth, presence, and love.

I don’t claim authority over this process. I simply share what I’ve lived — what has worked for me — so that I can stand tall in who I am, face the world with clear eyes and an open heart, and know that I am here to serve.

When you stand in that truth, you become unshakable.

Looking Within

It begins with clarity — on who we are, what we’ve done, and how we’ve chosen to show up. It means facing the shame and guilt, the anger and resentment, the fear and insecurity that live within us.

These must be addressed, because if they’re not, they will seep into our actions and distort the work we’re here to do. I know this firsthand. I’ve lived it, and I’ve watched others aware or not live it too.

Healing is not a one-time event; it unfolds, refines, and deepens over time.

The First Lesson: Saying No

Years ago, I asked my mentor a question that had haunted me for years: What is a man?

He looked at me and said, “A man is capable of saying no.”

At first, I thought it sounded simple. But it took me five years to understand the energy and strength behind that statement, and another five years to develop the confidence and capacity to truly live it.

Saying “no” is the first lesson. Everyone’s ability to say no is different, but everyone’s capacity can grow.

The simplest way to develop this skill is to deny physical desires and embrace discomfort to say no to the impulse to escape.

The Practice: Choosing Discomfort

So here’s the practice: choose one thing.

Something you’ve been meaning to stop for a long time.
Something that brings you shame or makes you feel smaller afterward.

Choose it and cut it out. Cold turkey.

It won’t kill you, but it will challenge you.
It will stir everything inside you that’s been waiting to be felt.
And within that discomfort lies your opportunity to feel deeply, to reconnect, to remember who you are.

When you remove your escapes, you’ll feel the absence of the chemical release the dopamine, adrenaline, the rush you once sought. That space is sacred. It’s the soil where real growth begins.

So replace it with something real.
Breathe.
Move your body.
Connect with others.

Through breath, connection, and physical exertion, you can generate naturally what you once sought through distraction. That energy becomes self-sourced — born of discipline, devotion, and truth.

That is power.
That is freedom.
That is the beginning of another way.